I’ve been practicing the art of letting go recently and it’s a great feeling. I think we spend too much time and energy worrying about things in our lives that cannot be changed. We should focus on the things in life that can be changed and let go of the things we cannot change.
I’ve drilled this into my little one and we do little exercises on the things we have control over and can change like for example; your behaviour towards people, what you want to eat for breakfast, what clothes you wear, you catch my drift and those you can’t change so for example; the weather, traffic on the road, peoples thoughts/perception about you, how people treat you or your battery dying on you and you’re in the middle of a concert! (That has happened to me before and I was gutted).
Here are my top tips on letting go
Before you start, write down 5 things you have on your mind that worries/troubles you and split them into groups of : “I can control it, or I cannot control it”.
1-Those that make it to the ‘I can control it’ list e.g. stressing over exam, financing a car etc make a plan of how you are going to deal with it effectively. This will help relieve the stress seeing a plan in place. Let us take the financing a car scenario. Look at your costs, how much you need versus how much you have and make a plan of how you will bridge the gap between the two. Put together a budget spreadsheet of all your ingoing and outgoings so you can visually see your finance situation.
2-With those that made it to the ‘‘I cannot change” list, allocate a five minute “thinking time” slot in the evening or whenever it suits you best for time to worry or think about it. Once the 5 minutes is up, that is it, let go and move on. Trust me, this is a great exercise and habit to get into. Your mind will be clearer and your energy around you will be more positive and you can use the minutes/hours in the day that you would have spent worrying over these issues on other more important issues or tasks.
Sometimes we stress over things in our lives that are beyond our control so allocating a specific time to think about it will make your day much more productive. And be strict with yourself, if you find yourself worrying about it outside your allocated “thinking time” then just switch off from that thought.
3-Don’t hold a grudge. This is such a hard and important skill to master in life. Holding grudges for whatever reason creates a negative energy around you and it’s a waste of your energy and time. People may have hurt you in the past, backstabbed you or stolen from you but whatever it is, holding a grudge against them doesn’t change the situation or take back what they did. The best way forward is to take a deep breathe, count to 3 and let it out and close that chapter. Trust me, you will feel a whole lot better after this little exercise.
4-Always forgive. Now this is another tricky one to master. No matter what was said or done, always, always forgive in your heart because God will pave the way for more positive things to enter your life. Remember you can always forgive, doesn’t mean you forget what happened and that is ok.
Those things that can be changed, do something about it, make a plan. And remember, a change is always good.
Try this for a week and I promise you that your day will be much more productive and you feel more positive in general.
Here are just a few examples of things you can change:
1-You don’t like your job: research into new work opportunities and venture out of your comfort zone because that is the only way you will grow and build new skills. You never the, the unknown may end up being your best friend!
2-You want to buy a new TV for your living room but cannot afford it right now. Make a budget spreadsheet and look at your outgoings and be strict with yourself with the money you allocate for leisure for a few months or however long it takes to save for the new TV.
3-You don’t like people’s attitude or behaviour towards you well then distance yourself and make new friends/acquaintances. You don’t have to spend every free second with them. Or even better, take whatever they do and say with a pinch of salt. I have had to learn this and the last few months has taught me that you cannot get upset over every little thing someone says or does. I am a very sensitive person, so naturally I do let things get to me, but I have done a complete 180 degrees, and changed my attitude now and don’t let things affect me.
4-You are upset about how your skin looks right now? Well, book yourself for a facial and discuss your skin with a beauty therapist. The Liz Earle facials I find are pretty awesome, which reminds me, I better book one soon as it has been a while.
Drop me a line and let me know how you got on with exercise.